Zeta Gundam, or at least the first two episodes of it, are a karate anime.

What slays me is that this was in slow-mo.

That is the way of sports and games anime. In Yu-Gi-Oh!, all worldly problems are solved by playing card games. In Saki, presumably by Mahjong. In the Prince of Tennis, I’d hope, by tennis.

Here, the problem solvers are fists, and the initiative is the thirst for vengeance.

Our protagonist Kamille Bidan hates it when people remark that he has a girl’s name. I knew it, because this was his outstanding character trait since the days of the first Battle Assault game. But I never knew he hated it this passionately.

Everytime Kamille hears that his brain pumps steroids into his veins, hence the acid trip.

Step back, woman. I’ll handle this.

AHAHAHAHA!

Our story basically has no directive until this one plot point. Kamille would have nothing to do with the Titans vs. AEUG war if he did not have this one quirk. Yes, Kamille wouldn’t have sparked the chain of events that happened due to the MK-II jackings, the Zeta Gundam wouldn’t have been made, and Scirocco wouldn’t have been penetrated if Kamille was fine with his name.

Thus, above all else, Zeta Gundam is the story of a boy who has a girl’s name and doesn’t like it.

Only MEN can awe their women in the driver’s seat.

The story starts with a nigh incomprehensible scene with Kamille getting swatted to the floor by a club captain – he simply gets up and rushes to his car. Kamille visits the spaceport for a reason I’ve now forgotten, and would continue a peaceful civilian life if he hadn’t gone and punched the face of a Titans soldier who remarked that he had a girl’s name.

Yes, that’s how much he hates it, and how strong his thirst for revenge is; enough to overcome the logical brakes that should tell him that hitting an army officer, who could very well be armed, while outnumbered around four to one is in no way a good idea. Yet he still does it. What’s surprising though is that he’s actually a capable fighter. Indeed, Kamille is the veritable avatar of vengeance – throughout these two episodes, he makes sure to go to any lengths to exact it.

Nobody ever uses this weapon again. You’d think it’s much more useful than the regular head-mounted vulcans.

Politics, eat FIST!

Just as Kamille is illogical, so is the series so far. The armies seem more like guerilla troops, slugging each other to get a point across. Alright, it’s already been established that Gundam values dramatic narrative more than realistic warfare. But Zeta Gundam takes it to an all new level.

Just in case you haven’t figured out already.

Cha – Whoops, I mean Quattro Bajeena, infiltrates the colony for reconnaissance, then decides to steal the two Gundam Mk. II units. They really don’t try to hide his identity at all, though.

Mmm, splendid, what FABULOUS scenery

Char’s so badass, he proceeds to take the Gundam barehanded.

Kamille is detained by the Titans, and is just about to be released when another petty dispute causes him to roundhouse kick another silly opponent.

That’s right, a master never strikes unless stricken

Can a half-assed Gundam protagonist brat do THIS?

Grand Theft Kamille: a marriage of GTA and Jet Li’s Rise to Honor

Everybody who doesn’t want their heart punched out in ONE SECOND please leave the room right now thank you very much.

In a fit of rage, Kamille steals a car and with his internal army knowledge arrives at the scene of Quattro’s crime and hijacks one of the units himself, handing it to Quattro and co. on a silver platter, mainly because they haven’t said he has a girl’s name yet.

This man threw a binder at Kamille while he was detained. Look where he is now.

You mess with the K-man, he’ll steal a Gundam and step on you.

Our protagonist is a very sane, real teenager.

Don’t get me wrong though. I liked these two episodes. I didn’t go into Zeta Gundam expecting a realistic war depiction. I wasn’t expecting anything besides a whiny protagonist actually, and Kamille pleasantly surprised me. True, he is whiny, but his complaints are presented so illogically that it would cause one to chuckle and breathe, ‘what?’. And he’s by no means cowardly, because if you insult him, he will come after you.

Here is a man who is so obsessed with his name that he’s willing to become a terrorist and throw away everything dear to him even if it’s simply insulted. No, not just his name, even if you cross him at all, he’ll make you pay. Pardon the term, but he’s not insane, he’s batsh*t crazy – this makes him very fun to watch. He’s the very embodiment of petty childish rage – yet unlike the unrefined hate we had as children, Kamille really will get his revenge.

I only wonder how in the name he was able to live as a normal student up until now. You’d think the insults he would’ve gotten during grade school would cause him to bomb the school or something.

This was truthfully rather smart though.

Due to an air leak, Kamille rips out a square of clothing and allows the cloth to drift towards the unseeable location of the hole and plug it up. Proof that Zeta STILL cared more about physics than SEED ever did.

Many don’t like Zeta Gundam, because of all the liberties the writers took that shatter realism and make the story near unbelievable. This didn’t vex me as much as it would’ve if I hadn’t been expecting it, and Kamille’s reckless abandon to crush all opposition with his fists overcomes this vexation for me. I’m looking at it in terms of entertainment value, and Kamille, irrational and pathological to a fault, definitely makes this fun to watch. I hope this persists though, and that his ridiculous fighting spirit surfaces more often than his whiny one.

Easy for HIM to say.

But really, I’m obviously only watching this for Haman-sama. Can’t wait.

Ningyo

Related posts:

1. Kamille the Barbarian
2. Anavel Gato, Solomon’s MAN of Destiny
3. First Two: Anabelle Gateaux, the Nightmare of Solomon
4. Counting Down with Gundam